Short story on internal-conflict.
CHAPTER 1
That night the campfire glowed as the flames dancing so close and so distant with each other, trying to have an honest conversation, just like the people surrounding the fire — nothing as compared to the sky above filled with a band of snow. The setting of the winter sun bathed the earth with a crimson glow. Barney could see the lights of hope in peoples faces. Grazing silently over the burst of jest and joy, she viewed her recent friends. Secretly dipped in plotting something with Stefan. Her first friend in this new town. His face was honest, and the light in his green eyes emits the gentle warmth of his soul. Only a few people can resist such an appeal. It was his steady effort as an employer to make her companionable again. Even though she has spent half a year now in this town, these people make her feel conflicted. She feels remote from the surrounding emotions.
Speaking to herself ‘One day I will grief for them’.
She intoxicated herself, only to drain herself in painful memories from the past. In the sorrow of Alex’s (her husband) death, she severs the bond from reality.
‘How am I supposed to mourn my mourning partner’ she says, in memory after her father died, when Alex was present at each step with her. Now that presence was gone.
‘Now what am I suppose to do’ she mumbled. She was staring again at her friends, who were trying hard to make her feel at home. Clueless about under the table discussion, she saw a small wooden box in Stefan’s hand, showing to the group. Keenly trying to observe the cravings, with her tipsy eyes she met intimidating Stefan’s eyes, casually sitting at the bar and looking at her, with zealous. At that moment, her heart ached, so profoundly that she was unable to breathe. Clinging at her belongings, she ran out. Throwing up at the parking lot, she finally managed to get inside her car.
Stefan and other friends came rushing out in search of Barney. ‘Being drunk is the fools anaesthetic’ unable to here anything she drove senselessly.
Stefan kept shouting ‘Barney, Barney stop, just wait…’ He charged to his vehicle, in pursuit of Barney.
An upsurge of emotions created a roller-coaster driving experience for Barney, slowly drifting her away from reality. It happens in a blink of an eye, hood crumples, the glass shatters, and the sound of squealing tires.
The engine smell of coolant and fuel, there was a smell of fire and gasoline. The crash was disorienting. It’s was loud. After the crash, there is a moment of silence, extreme silence like a piercing sound in your ear silence.
Stefan rushed towards crashed car shouting ‘Barney! can you hear me, do not move, look at me Barney…’
She felt a gust of pain followed by intense numbness. Slowly drifting away into the unknown. Her eyesight blurred, everything became fuzzy until she saw nothing at all. Her consciousness was floating through an empty space. She can feel the pain that swirls inside her your brain, but her body was at peace.
‘Barney try to open your eyes, we are almost there’ Stefan sounded courageous and frightened at the same time. Atmosphere got filled with multiple voices of Doctors and equipment’s.
‘Sir you need to stay out of ICU, we are preparing for the ventilation’ Nurse sounded considerate and sensitive while closing the ICU door. Outside everyone stood helpless, Stefan continues to stare at the ICU door clinging to the craved wooden box. One he was supposed to give Barney at dawn.
CHAPTER 2
Barney’s expression went from surprise to joy in the blink of an eye.
Blinking her eyelids she gazed at the; Ray of golden light starts to emerge from distant darkness. Gradually forming a shape of large golden ribbons. Slowly lifting her out from the darkness like a mother cradling her child in her embrace. At last she could see the light dancing over the deep blue lake.
(Deep Inhale) Fresh musky smell of wet wooden deck mixed with the aroma of the jungle hit her the second she inhaled.
‘It is the Lake…I am here.’ only words she could manage to say.
After looking around, she recognised the paints over the deck’s railing. Somehow she felt a familiarity. A feeling of home swiped all her memories.
‘Am I dreaming?’ She asked herself
Wandering around she saw her father, with a surprising note she asked: ‘Dad? Daddy…is that you?’
She stood still in amaze holding her breath for her father to response. But
her father went by, right crossing her as if she does not exists.
‘Daddy! daddy its me Barney, your little bean look at me’ She ran screaming at her father.
‘How could you…daddy how could you leave your little bean all alone, how?’ at her knees she sat crying out loud, but her father could not listen.
‘hahaha….little bean, what have you been doing here for so long?’ Her father bending over to little Barney(5yr old) spoke with compassion.
Barney startled at her father’s voice, looked over to see her past emerging right in front of her eyes.
Like a dream taking a life form little Barney stood still facing her Dad with a delightful expression she spoke; ‘Daddy, look what I got here.’
Pride rushed over her entire being as she transfer the little fishy she caught at the jar. Holding up high she showed her father like a cherished treasure.
‘Oh, dear! it’s beautiful, why did you lock the fishy in the jar?’ Her father asked little Barney looking at her with amusement.
She spoke with a firm tone; ‘I will keep this fishy with us forever, just like daddy and Barney.’
Looking at her daughter with compassion, her father wondered how to explain her little daughter that nothing stays forever.
‘Barney, what if the fish and Daddy cannot always stay with you?’
Placing the fish carefully into the jar, barney replied with a deserted tone; ‘That is not possible, daddy and fishy cannot leave Barney.’
‘But what if fishy and daddy goes to heaven?’
‘I won’t let you go, daddy and fishy will stay with me forever’
(Adult Barney) She observed her daddy at a distance , struggling to explain life’s meaning to a 5yr old kid.
Finally, he spoke with a smile ‘This is a big world barney, so many other people and so many animals are there. Why do you want only fishy and Daddy?’
‘Don’t you want to get to know all of them?’ He cast a delightful face.
‘Barney want to know all of them, but Barney loves only daddy and fishy.’
Looking at his tough little daughter ‘hahaha…even if fishy and daddy are gone their love will always be with you, it is not going anywhere my little bean.’ He hugged little Barney into tight embrace.
To Barney(adult) her father looked nothing less like a gaurdian angel, Standing tall holding her at the edge of the lake.
Tending to his daughter in arms ‘Love is like a life force; it’s always around us Barney, all you need is to look.’
‘So I got fishy? because I looked?’ She spoke with hesitation
‘Exactly, you were looking for love, so you got it, NEVER STOP LOOKING FOR LOVE BARNEY.’ with a pleasing smile
Little Barney smiled back ‘never ever-forever daddy.’
(Adult) Barney murmured ‘never ever-forever daddy’
CHAPTER 3
She kept murmuring over and over.
‘Hey Barney! Its me Stefan’ He looked over her with tears of joy.
She looked so pale, Doctor adviced Stefan to take care of her nutrition. Had he known since the first time she came searching for a job. Looking like a skinny ghost from past, she was far from the kind of women he liked. But it was her deep blue eyes that pounded his heart. He knew the moment, she gave him a genuine smile that the real Barney is lost somewhere in the mist of past.
Holding the delicate ring inside the wooden box, he looked of sleeping Barney ‘Let me bring you back Barney, let me give you love’
Somewhere surrounded by the same golden ribbons, Barney opens her eye to see Alex. Holding her hand at the altar, array of light started emitting from ring at the Barney’s finger. As the Priest narrates;
“They are about to say ‘I do’,
three little letters, two little words.
Its the simplest part of the day; but there is nothing simple about the things that will remain unsaid.
‘I do’ means I do know I could be hurt, but I am ready to be healed with you.
It means I do want to try, even when the fear of failure holds me back.
And I do not know the future, but I am ready to be surprised along the way.
‘I do’ means I do want your love & I do give you mine.
And nothing we do will ever be the same, because we will be doing it all together.” (Poem written by Dean Batali)
She stood like a statue gazing at the best day of her life fadding away with the approaching sunset. They all seems so happy, her father, her Alex dancing together with her in the harmony of laughter. It ached her heart to see, tears rolled as she turned back into the dark. Facing yet another memory long forgotten into the sorrow. Alex holding Barney into his arms while sitting at the lake’s deck, feets dipped under cold water.
‘Barney do you remember what the priest said sometime back?’ Alex spoke looking at his muddled wife.
‘Yes I do, but please don’t ask me to resite it for you’ Barney replied with lushed voise.
Kissing her forehead gently ‘Barney I do also means; that I do want you to have freedom. I do want you to be able to love yourself, because then only we can love each other’
‘I do never ever-forever Alex’ she spoke sincerely and kissed Alex.
It all faded as the night grew more dark.
Lying at the hospital bed she murmured again “never ever-forever”. For the first time after so long she was ready “to look”, to look for the love once again. With the first ray of the sunlight as Stefan looked upon her, she opened her eyes. His shadow hugging her from a distance, once again she could see an angel guarding by her side. She finally let her tears flow for the ones who have gone and for the one there. She smiled back to Stefan with her whole heart, letting him to see who she is now.
Stefan spoke softly holding her gently into his arms ‘Barney let me love you’
After a year, wedding bands in their hands, Stefan and Barney stood at the same deck holding each others arms.
